SEATTLE, WA, USA
"My husband and I were married for over 25 years when he told me he was unhappy, had been unhappy for many years, and might want a divorce. I was shocked. I knew we were having problems but was unaware of the depth of his unhappiness (or mine). We were both in individual counseling at the time, and started marriage counseling immediately after. Three months later he moved out.
Throughout this time we both tried our best to understand ourselves, each other, where we went wrong in our relationship, and what we each contributed to the seemingly insurmountable problems we were having. We were both very hurt, sad, confused, and unable to connect no matter how much we wanted to. We had little hope of staying married, and although devastated, neither of us was willing to continue the unhealthy relationship we were in.
A relative very close to me told me about licensed psychologist Paul Singh, and suggested gently but repeatedly that he might provide the help we needed. I was very skeptical at first, but because of my great respect for my relative’s insights and opinions, I thought it would be worth a try. If nothing else, I was hoping to learn more about myself and where I was going wrong so I didn’t repeat my mistakes in another relationship.
Paul’s help was beyond anything either of us could have imagined. We both have high regard for our couples therapist, but in his traditional, one-hour format we were unable to get to the core of our problems. Paul showed us visually, by writing on posters and a white board, everything we needed to really understand about where our pain originated, our own hurtful behaviors, and how we could communicate and connect in the way we truly want to -- in a loving, kind and respectful way. The insights broke through our anger and defenses to a deep understanding of and compassion for each other. We were reminded during the process of what we love about each other, and how much we wanted to stay married.
Paul Singh’s process is unique and very effective, and he is an extremely gifted, intuitive man who can see through any chaos, get to the root of complex problems, and effectively communicate them to his clients in a kind, extremely honest, and direct way. We saw Paul for three straight days in what he calls a counseling intensive. In that time, our marriage changed from being seemingly beyond repair to providing a renewed sense of love, commitment and an intense desire to make it work.
We never thought this would be possible, but it is! I believe that any couple fortunate enough to have this opportunity with Paul Singh would forever benefit from his skill, wisdom, talent and insight. We will always be grateful for what Paul did for us and for our children. We are living a miracle. We are still married and happy once again."